Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
