i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
