obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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