Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
