I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
