Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
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he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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