So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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