I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
