Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
