I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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