DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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