Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
