craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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