I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
