I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
