is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
