at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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