...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize