I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
