Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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