never play flip cup with pint glasses
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
