oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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