that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize