A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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