I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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