i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.