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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.

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• (518): View more from New York

  4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.

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• (619): View more from California

  my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing

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• (650): View more from California

  I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  ...it's a 9am class...

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street

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• (516): View more from New York

  WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE

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