so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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