The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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