paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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