I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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