i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize