I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
