Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
