some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
