Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
