Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
