Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
