I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we're making bets on your personal life
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
