Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
