I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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