you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
