Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
