how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
