Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
