I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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