Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
