I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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