Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
