Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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