Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
