I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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