No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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