is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
do nipples grow back?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
