i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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