there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I am available for nakedness
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