so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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