A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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