so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
