You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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