I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize