Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
