Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
