Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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