They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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