Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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