running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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