Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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