we have officially lost it.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm bleeding and have questions
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
