i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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