im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
