White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize