I need help removing her.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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