doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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